Driving on 595 and I-95 makes you want to light a pillowcase full of kittens on fire and punt it off the overpass you've been stuck on for the past hour.
So, what's the solution? REVERSIBLE LANES, OF COURSE!
That's right. I-595 will soon be opening reversible lanes that go one way in the morning and then the other way in the afternoon.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
To alleviate congestion, three sets of reversible lanes will move traffic east in the morning, then west in the evening.
According to the Sun Sentinel, this will all be monitored by railroad gates of some sort:
A trio of reversible express lanes that will move traffic east in the morning and west at night.
And here's another unusual thing popping up on the highway lately: railroad crossing gates. In case you're wondering, Tri-Rail isn't adding tracks down I-595.
The gates are part of a safety system designed to keep drivers from entering the reversible lanes at the wrong time and plowing into oncoming traffic.
So basically, we're leaving it to South Florida drivers and a couple of gates to keep people from smashing into each other in a horrific head-on collision. Good luck with that!
Oh, but don't worry. There's a "major public information campaign" all set to be put out to educate drivers before the lanes open. There are also plans to have warning lights and signs to let commuters know that entering a certain lane will literally kill you.
There will also be road rangers driving up and down the lanes before they're switched, to make sure there are no stranded motorists or abandoned vehicles.
The reversible lanes will move traffic eastbound on weekdays from 4 a.m. to 1 p.m. and then westbound from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m. The express lanes will be closed at least one hour before traffic is switched to make sure there are no more cars or debris on the highway.
Similar reversible lanes are in use in places like Tampa, Dallas, and Norfolk.
In the past year, there were 65 accidents in Norfolk's reversible lanes.
Our very own reversible lanes officially open in March and will stretch for about ten miles, starting in the median of I-595. There will be a toll that commuters can expect to pay of 50 cents to $2.
Try not to crash into an oncoming garbage truck or anything.