And the show, South Florida.Com, was better than I could have dreamed.
And by that I mean that it's sure to provide us first-rate fodder for weeks to come. Just for starters, here are two features of the show that I caught this morning:
-- "Sharp-Dressed John." This is a fellow named John Reed, who works the "web desk." He said he wished he was "17 again with no responsibility." Which I don't understand, since it appears all he does all day is surf the web and look at crap. Sounds like an irresponsible teenager to me. The only difference is that he shares the crap he finds on the air. In this segment, he shared with us these headlines with their accompanying web pages.
"Madonna hasn't given up on adoption of girl"
"Jennifer Hudson still standing strong"
"Josh Hartnett parties in Miami a week after hopitalization"
And that was the enlightenment that came from Sharp-Dressed John. If you want more from John, click here for his blog, which is full of much more magical Internet enlightenment.
-- After John, came the woman host Dave Aizer called "our psychic, Cynthia." That would be Cynthia Miller, a "psychic life coach" whoI am fairly certain will occupy further blog posts (remember "Regina Milbourne"). Miller, a young woman wearing a white dress, sat next to Aizer and one of the show's two Amazonian hostesses (I believe it was Amber) and took calls. The first came from Gerard, who asked if he was going to become wealthy this year.
Cynthia put her hand on her ear and peered out into space.
"Let me see what the universe has to tell you today," Cynthia said. "It's a good year to go basicially in your inner self, working with and listening first and foremost to your spirit, to your inner guides."
As if sensing that wasn't enough, Cynthia then added, "And if you're able to go into real estate it's definitely absolutely 100 percent the time for you so your inner goals can be succeeded."
There you have it -- Cynthia the psychic has declared the real estate bottom on Sun-Sentinel TV. Take it to the bank!
You can't make this stuff up. And remember, this is what Tribune Co. Innovation Chief Lee Abrams promised would be the reinvention of local television news, that it would be "burning the old playbook and writing the new one."
And Cynthia the psychic wasn't done yet. A woman named Yolanda called into the show and asked, "Am I going to finally find love?"
Cynthia put her hand to her ear and looked confused and shook her head.
"No, I'm sorry but I'm not feeling any of your vibes right now," she said. "You may be going through some certain confusion in your life right now or certain blockages, but I'm sorry."
How great is it to be a psychic? When you can't do your job, you get to blame it on other people's confusion and blockages instead of your own.
"Are you feeling very blocked?" she asked Yolanda.
"I'm feeling very blocked," Yolanda confirmed.
"This happens rarely that I may not pick up on somebody's vibes," Cynthia said.
I wanted to watch more but, much too soon, the show seamlessly transitioned into Jerry Springer.
South Florida.Com. Just when things were starting to get a little boring around here. Thank you, Sam Zell.