Well, it took long enough, but television's beloved and terrifying anthology, American Horror Story, is finally heading to the place that invented the very idea of American horror: Florida.
More specifically: Jupiter, Florida.
Scared yet?
Entertainment Weekly reported the news yesterday that season four of the series would be set in Jupiter in 1950. The possibilities are endless.
What Sunshine State horrors will this season tackle? Crazed perverted front yard dog lovers? Prepubescent drag racing pop stars? Cold-blooded chicken foot murdering roommates?
None of the above.
The show's title was revealed by creator and writer Ryan Murphy via Twitter.
AMERICAN HORROR STORY SEASON FOUR: pic.twitter.com/6OHYzGjPMd
— Ryan Murphy (@MrRPMurphy) March 24, 2014And it will be called American Horror Story: Freak Show. Which was coincidentally the second runner-up for Florida's state slogan (first runner-up was "Welcome to Florida! Don't move or I'll shoot!").
Though little is known about the plot and the show is still in the early stages of preproduction, we can assume it will have something to do with, well, a freak show. (We are so very perceptive.)
According to Entertainment Weekly, the show's muse, Jessica Lange, will play a German ex-pat in charge of her very own freak show. Lange also told Buzzfeed this will be her last season with AHS.
There's still no word on where the set will be, but AHS has filmed on location before. Last season, American Horror Story: Coven shot scenes in New Orleans, where the story was set.
So cross all 12 of your freakishly deformed fingers and you might just be able to take a road trip up north to stalk Evan Peters or Sarah Paulson very soon.
We can only imagine all the sick and wonderful things Murphy and the rest of the show's writers have planned for this 13-episode season. Florida in the '50s was one weird place. Racism, as in most of the country, ran rampant. Generations clashed in a cultural battle of morals and ethics that eventually led to the free-love era of the sixties. And in 1952, a very special Florida politician was born.
We know writing a show can be hard work. So, just in case Ryan Murphy falls ill with a mean case of writer's block, we'd like to help him out.
Here's our submission for the opening scene of a Florida-based American Horror Story.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT - JUPITER, FLORIDA - 1956
BEVERLY SCOTT, a gaunt woman of middle age, shuffles around a pitch-black kitchen, feeling the furniture in front of her.
A loud BANG comes from somewhere inside the house.
Beverly throws herself against the wall, finding a light switch. She flips it. On off. On off.
Nothing.
She reaches down, opens a drawer, pulls out a candle. She find a match and strikes it, lighting the candle.
INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
Beverly walks down a narrow hallway holding a candle, wood creaking beneath her. She walks cautiously before coming to a door.
She pushes it open. Slowly.
She takes a deep breath, then steps into the room.
Before her, a YOUNG CHILD of about 4 years of age is standing on a table.
The child is hideously smooth. Bald as a pearl with sinister eyes and a long neck like an evil llama. He's wearing a black suit with an American flag pin on his lapel.
He smiles.
Young Rick Scott holds out a piece of paper.
As Beverly turns to leave, the door slams shut.
Young Rick Scott holds out the paper again.
Young Rick Scott smiles a wide, toothy grin.
The candle goes out. The room is pitch black.
Beverly screams.
ROLL CREDITS:
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