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Nine Reasons New England Patriots Fans Are the Worst

The 2014 Miami Dolphins' season almost over. And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and listing reasons the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't.

Not us. Not here. Instead, we're focusing on why every week's opponent has the worst fan base in all of the NFL.

This week, the 7-6 Dolphins are set to play the division-rival New England Patriots on Sunday at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro.

Here are nine reasons their fans are the worst:

See also: Nine Reasons New York Jets Fans Are the Worst

9. Because so much... douche There's the Southie accent. The subtle racism. The rudeness. The taunting. The loudness. The insistence in calling everything wicked. Those are all douchey things. And then there's the heartless, degenerate decision to taunt an opposing player's dead brother.

In 2013, Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Torrey Smith's little brother died in a tragic motorcycle accident. Months later, the Ravens played the Patriots in the AFC Championship game. The Ravens won, and Patriots fans, being the classy, gracious mongoloids they are, they decided to tweet horrible things to Smith about his dead brother.

Here's an example: "Hey, Smith, how about you call your bro and tell him about your wi--- ohhhh. Wait. #TooSoon?"

Unfunny AND abhorrent.

Smith handled it as well as anyone in that situation could, though he quickly realized what the rest of the world already knows. Patriots fans are douches.

8. Because They Don't Actually Like Tom Brady Or the Patriots, for that matter. Don't be fooled by all the blue jerseys and the professed love for Bill Belichick. This fan base is ALL about the Red Sox. Always have been. Always will be. This is why they played in Foxboro Stadium for so long and why they almost built Gillette Stadium in Hartford, Connecticut. Because no one truly gives a shit. The only reason Patriots fans are still prevalent is because the Patriots are still good. When Brady retires and Belichick moves on, watch how many of them mysteriously dissipate into the ether.

On top of that, this is the same fan base that was calling for its three-time Super Bowl champion and future Hall of Fame quarterback to be traded a couple of years back. This actually happened. En masse. And every time the Patriots are inevitably bounced from the playoffs, the fans take to WEEI to complain that Brady is too involved in his marriage with Gisele. HOW DEH-AH HE WANT TAH LIVE THA MAREEED LIFE! WE NEED TAH TRAYDE HIM FOAH PLAYAH THAT'S FOOTBAWWL TWENTEE FOAH SEVEN AND WHITE!

Also, Tom Brady is a Yankees fan LOLOLO

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph

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