Obama Rang Your Doorbell Last Night? Halloween Masks Predict President

Now that all the candy's been handed out and the toilet paper cleaned off the trees and the egg yolk scrubbed off of front doors, it's time to see who our next president is going to be.

While presidential Halloween masks are probably the most unoriginal, uncreative, and lamest of all costumes, those rubbery things have correctly predicted the election since 1980, including the last two elections, between Bush-Kerry and Obama-McCain.

That's right, racist guy who thought it would be so HILAR to show up to the office party dressed with an Obama mask and a rope around his neck, and hippie girl who showed up to your party with a Romney mask and binders under your arms, your decision to be unoriginal and stupid may have cost your candidate the election!

According to BuyCostumes.com, it looks like it's four more years for Obama.

The site has Romney winning Florida but is calling the election for the president.

Other retailers are reporting the same, that Obama masks outsold Romney masks leading up to Halloween.

And Spirit Halloween, the largest Halloween retail store in the country that has correctly predicted the election since 1996, is calling it for Obama as well.

And no, if a kid showed up to your door dressed as a robot, it does not count for Romney (though it should!)

So will the Conservatards now call Halloween an evil Marxist holiday with Muslim ties?

Yes. Very much so they will. Just wait for it.

We'll just have to wait and see if the trend continues this term.

But now you know that those children who showed up to your door last night dressed in a suit, tie, and Romney mask berating you and calling you a socialist for redistributing all that free candy to all them freeloaders in your neighborhood is a clear indication that Mitt has already won Florida.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph