Barack Obama panders to no one! Especially not Dolphins fans because, well, that would be pretty stupid.
Because they suck, you see.
Obama made an appearance this morning on Pimp With a Limp DJ Laz on 106.7 FM, where he did some campaigning. Because it's important to reach that Pimp With a Limp demographic.
In the interview, Obama talked Medicare and other political stuff. But he also got to the important issues facing us South Floridians and kind of ripped the Dolphins.
Obama: DJ Laz.
Obama: "What's going on, man?"
Laz: "How are you, sir?"
Obama: "Less than highly favored."
Laz: It is an honor and pleasure to have the president of the United States. I'm humbled.
Obama: "I'm the one who should be humbled. You're big time. You've got Pitbull and Flo Rida and all these guys just beating a path to your door. And so I'm hoping I can get a little of that magic from you in this interview."
Laz: I'm wearing a Miami Dolphins jersey.
Obama: "You've got to start with that Dolphins thing. Did you see that HBO special Hard Knocks. That's a pretty good show. As I recall, you guys didn't win any... in the preseason."
Laz: Now I'm getting ragged on by the president of the United States.
Obama: "I'm just saying you brought it up. My Bears -- I'm feeling pretty good about them."
Ha Ha Ha... it's funny because the pain is real.
If Obama truly is the socialist-government-takeover Trotsky his rivals say he is, then maybe he can he do us all a favor and take over the Dolphins. Or at the very least, appoint Jeff Ireland as the new ambassador to Antarctica.
If this offends you as a South Florida sports fan, keep in mind that Obama thinks the Heat are the balls.
And you can't blame the president for keeping it real.
You're right, Mr. President. They suck. Also, with all due respect: Fuck the Bears.
You can listen to the whole interview here: