Barack Obama took to the TV and told the world that Marco Rubio "has been a very positive force" in the immigration debate.
Obama is up to no good. He has to be. Why else would he suddenly be praising the GOPers' Goldeny Golden-Touch Golden Boy of the Golden Future Rubio?
What say you, Admiral Ackbar?
Obama said that to NBC's Savannah Guthrie in an interview from the White House.
He also added that the other senators in the Gang of 8 are pretty cool too:
"As have all the senators who've been involved... And my hope is not only that we... end up with an immigration bill that shows that we're a nation of laws and a nation of citizens, that helps our economic growth, that helps us attract incredible talent to our shores. But I also hope that it kinda restarts muscle memory in Congress for getting bipartisan legislation done."
Oh, so the president really does want positive immigration reform that will help people and stimulate the economy? So his praising of Rubio isn't a secret ploy to destroy him and take away everyone's guns so he can melt them down and create cannon balls for Mexican immigrants sneaking over the border to throw at border patrol officials?
Obama also added, "You know what? I'm actually reasonably confident on this one."
Knock it off, Obummer! It's not supposed to work this way!
For their part, Rubio's old pals the Teabaggers of America Who Will Teabag Your Face (or Teabag Party, for short), are none too happy with their man Rubes and his immigration reform plan.
They've already protested him (that'll learn ya!)
And Rubio had to send them a letter telling them to calm their shit via their Teabaggy internet hangout Brietbart.com.
But don't worry, GOPers. We're with you. This is all just a plot to destroy Rubio and turn the United States of America into the Giant Socialist Take Your Guns and Give Them to Jay-Z and Beyoncé of America (G.S.T.Y.G.G.T.J.B.A.).
Obama is being all friendly so he can wreck Rubio like he did Charlie Crist. REMEMBER THE HUG?
That hug was all a ploy to ruin Crist so he can become a Democrat and in turn allow Rubio to win the Senate seat in Florida so that Obama could then manipulate him for his own immigration reform purposes and then say nice things about him on TV so that the Republicans can turn on Ruybio like they did Crist so that Obama can win the presidency again in 2016 and declare himself Dictator for Life.
OPEN YOUR EYES, AMERICA!
Obama's interview with Savannah Guthrie airs Wednesday night on NBC.