Broward News

One Senator, Two Senate Candidates and a Rodeo Clown Tackle Pythons in Everglades

Specifically, Sen. Bill Nelson, Charlie Crist, Kendrick Meek and Republican fundraiser-slash-rodeo enthusiast Ron Bergeron. They were joined by a national political dignitary, Interior Secretary Ken Salazar. They all hopped on airboats -- Bergeron drove one of them, man's man that he is -- and went traipsing around the Great Swamp looking for pythons to exterminate. Obviously, this is the opening scene of the next reptilian horror flick, but we'll get to that. First, let's ask National Geographic whether our Florida politicians should really be snake-hunting.

To reiterate, it says of pythons that they're huge, highly aggressive and that, "To capture one you need a team of experienced snake-catchers."

Oops! But the lack of it is what makes this a great movie. You've got a retired astronaut who may be able to draw upon previous encounters with aliens, which our too-big-to-be-a-python may prove to be. You've got a Republican - Democrat feud between Crist and Meek, setting up a scene in which one of them is in mortal snake danger and can only be saved by the other.  You've got the tough-as-nails rancher in Bergeron who may by movie's end earn a grudging respect for the city slickers who wear loafers on his airboat. And Salazar... um... Don't know much about him, so let's just feed him to the serpent early in the film, shall we?

Also, I just got a call from David Hasselhoff's agent. He says his client deserves to play the ranger who cautions this group not to dare mess with the Everglades. And though his advice is ignored, the Hoff will swoop in to play hero, as he does in the clip after the jump, from Anaconda 3: The Offspring.

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Thomas Francis