This is pretty amazing, considering we're talking about a talent pool that contains Rick Scott, a man with the social poise of a 13-year-old in sex ed, and Charlie Crist, a man who probably would fail the replicant test from Blade Runner, but we might have The Derp Face of the 2014 campaign season.
Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi just dropped her first television ad for November's contest. Although the spot touts the politician's record, it fails to address to two heavyweight issues that could sink her campaign.
We set our scene on some mean urban streetscape airlifted right out of The Wire. Bondi, walking the beat, unrolls a tough-on-crime rap:
As a prosecutor, I've seen crime and brutality fueled by drugs.
As Attorney General, I banned synthetic forms of heroin and acid that are poisoning our kids. And, with our amazing law enforcement, we closed down the pill mills.
Of the top 100 oxycodone-‐dispensing doctors in this country, 98 of them lived in Florida. Today, there are none.
And then there at the end, Bondi drops a weird looking smile that's already been dubbed "awkward" by the Tampa Bay Times.
But maybe the most awkward thing about the whole ad is what Bondi doesn't talk about. It's telling the issues Bondi brings up, things like pills mills and synthetic drugs, are all time stamped 2012. They're not the issues that are sticking to Bondi today.
Gay marriage and medical marijuana are likely to be the defining legal issues facing Florida in the next couple years, if not the next months. They also happen to be the two issues Pam Bondi is on the wrong side of history on. Her office has come out swinging against the upcoming medical marijuana issue; she's also been equally intransigent on gay marriage.