Panning for Gold: Minimart Clerk Steals Stuff That No Human Should Desire

On a semiweekly basis, we like to have fun at the Panhandle's expense, and this week our victim is the very pitiable Kimberly Negron. The Fort Walton Beach resident has a depressing job and, according to local police, hatched an even more depressing criminal enterprise. From the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Kimberly Denise Negron was charged with stealing two phone cards, a fountain drink and chicken wings, a carton of cigarettes, a pack of cigarillos and cash from Dodge's Store where she works, an Okaloosa County Sheriff's report said.

The only thing more appalling than someone buying chicken wings from a minimart is someone stealing chicken wings from a minimart. And then washing them down with a carton of smokes. If only Negron hadn't taken that cash -- she'd have given her attorney room to argue to a jury that his client took nothing of legitimate value.

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