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Paparazzi Unimpressed by Ambiguously Straight Gov

Don't you feel just a little sorry for the gawkers of St. Petersburg / Tampa? They've been waiting to get their place on the celebrity map forever! But no, Anna Nicole had to croak in the that other Seminole Hard Rock hotel. Today's Charlie Crist-Carole Rome wedding was supposed to be the cities' Big Celebrity Moment.

But then Paps of the world responded with a collective meh!

"Socialites only sort of hit our radar if they have reality shows, to be frank," said Jill Stempel, New York bureau chief of World Entertainment News Network, a top celebrity news agency. "I'm aware that he was under consideration for the vice president and he's a political player and it's interesting, but we are not sending a photographer to cover it, just because the celebrity factor isn't there. No disrespect to the future Mrs. Crist, but she needs to get a reality show and then she'll be on our radar."

Wha?? St. Pete, can I get a Hell Yeah?!? But if we're really serious about this idea, the reality show needs a sexy name. When In Rome, perhaps? Crude, I know, but a similar title worked wonders for Paris Hilton. Charles In Charge. No that's been done. Crist Miss Carol, a  heartwarming show of connubial bliss that we can market to the Hallmark Channel? I'm spinning my wheels here.

It's up to you, St. Pete, to make this reality show happen. I should not have to remind you how big the stakes are. Make Charlie and Carole legit celebrities, or the guy below will spend another year as the most famous St. Petersburg-er.

-- Thomas Francis

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Thomas Francis

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