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Paul Pierce Immediately Regrets Asking to Guard LeBron James; Heat Takes 3-1 Series Lead

The Miami Heat took a 3-1 lead in its Eastern Conference semifinal matchup against Brooklyn on Monday night, beating the Nets 102-96.

While there are plenty of game and series recaps to peruse, we at the Pulp like to dig deeper and get into some specific stuff you may or may not have noticed.

Come along with us throughout these playoffs while the Heat continues its quest for a three-peat, as we present to you a handful of things we learned from the games.

Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you'll just relive a cool moment. Either way, you'll be walking away from these posts having a life-altering experience.

LET'S DIVE IN!

1. The Heat Needed METACOBRADICK to Make an Appearance Once again, LeBron James proves that he is the six-foot-eight, 250-pound embodiment of God's wrath. Before Game 4 tipped off, the Nets' Paul Pierce demanded from his coach that he, "The Truth," guard LeBron because he knows James' tendencies better than anyone on Brooklyn. He spoke about approaching the Heat with no fear and said they were beatable.

And then the actual game started.

And as Pierce continued to talk directly from his ass-crack, LeBron came out and flexed his seething, unbridled awesomeness by dropping 49 points on Brooklyn and rendering Pierce and the Nets a heaping pile of useless.

At a time when everyone else in a Heat uniform was playing basketball like they had literally just learned how to five minutes before tip-off, LeBron went from Cobradick to METACOBRADICK and was able to score 49 of Miami's 102 points.

He was even able to shut down Joe Johnson during the Nets' last two key possessions. And when the game was on the line, LeBron did that thing where he outthinks everyone else on the court and found Chris Bosh with a gorgeous pass as Bosh proceeded to drain the dagger three.

After all the talking and yelling by Pierce, LeBron did exactly what he said he'd do. He let his game do the talking.

Pierce's jabbering was basically the equivalent to that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when that one dude comes up to Indiana Jones and starts waiving his giant sword around, showing him how big the sword is and how good he is at handling it, and then Indiana Jones takes out his gun and shoots him dead.

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph

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