Politics

Paul Ryan's Mom Is Now the Florida Seniors for Romney Chairwoman

Things are not going so hot for one Mittington Willard Mitt Romnom Dog Torturer Mittbot RoboRomney Romney down here in Florida.

He's trailing in polls, and old people hate his running mate.

Ah! But guess who's back-back, back again? That's right. Betty Douglas -- Paul Ryan's Enthusiastically Waving Mother -- has returned to the place where she once got a few thousand rich old white people pretty darned excited about her boy and has been officially named chairwoman of Florida Seniors for Romney, which is apparently a thing.

Momma Ryan gonna make everything awwwwwright with Los Viejos.

We're not entirely sure what Florida Seniors for Romney is other than a group designed to scare the shit out of old people into thinking Obama will communistize their Medicare.

But it's a bold move by the Romney campaign to use Momma Ryan to try to get the elderly vote.

Obama lost the senior vote to John McCain in Florida by eight points in 2008. But now, more and more polls are showing that Florida seniors trust Obama with their Medicare more than they do Romney & P90Ry.

That might be because of the whole voucher system thing. It might also be because Romney & P90Ry have yet to disclose a real plan. What they have trotted out is attacks on Obama and convoluted math.

And if there's one thing you don't want to do with old people, it's confuse them.

But Betty's effervescent presence and enthusiastic waving will now fix everything for Romney in Florida.

"I'm proud to serve as an honorary chair of the Florida Seniors for Romney," she said in a news release. "Florida seniors know that Mitt Romney and my son, Paul Ryan, will protect Medicare for me and my generation, and preserve it for Paul's and my grandchildren's generations. Florida seniors know we can't afford four more years of the last four years and we can't pass on more Obama debt to our children."

Nothin' like stuffing empty Republican talking points into your mother so she can regurgitate them back to other old people.

GO GIT 'EM, BETTY!



KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph