Apparently trying to smuggle cocaine into the U.S. by stuffing bags of it up one's rectum is something the feds are on to. So the next logical step was to try to stuff coke into hollowed-out coconuts and smuggle them in that way, because coconuts is not a person's rectum.
Unfortunately for three men, customs agents at Port Everglades are not easily fooled, as they spotted about 90 coconuts stuffed with pounds and pounds of yeyo.
Agents at Port Everglades were performing a routine inspection of a shipment of produce coming into Fort Lauderdale from the Dominican Republic. But they spotted bags that were missing labels in the container.
Feds put tracking devices on the bags that led them to a produce-importing business in Miami.
But, the feds would soon discover, some of the bags that were unloaded did not go to the business. Two men took the unlabeled bags while a third took some to his home.
The three men, Narphy Antonio Villafana, 31, Alfredo Polanco, 32, and Rafael Leoncio Santos-Castro, 44, were arrested.
They appeared in federal court in Fort Lauderdale, where they pleaded guilty to conspiracy to import and distribute drugs.
The men, who will be sentenced in July, are now facing a maximum punishment of ten years to life in prison and fines of up to $10 million.
This wasn't the first time agents intercepted a shipment of coke arriving at Port Everglades in a container with ties to these men.
Back in November, feds discovered a container with 57 pounds of coke coming into the port. According to agents, procedural problems led them to abort making an arrest, but they claim that they got a call from a number linked to one of the men -- Alfredo Polanco -- from a business owner wanting to know what happened to his shipment.
The men were caught this time because of unlabeled bags.
They probably would've been better off throwing a sticker on them and writing HI DEA. NO DRUGS IN HERE ONLY COCONUTS! LOL with a Sharpie.
That, or maybe just shove the bags of coke up their asses.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to New Times Broward-Palm Beach's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling South Florida's stories with no paywalls.