Powerball Draws Two Winners For Record Jackpot

Two people reportedly won the giant huge Powerball drawing was last night. AND NEITHER OF THOSE PEOPLE WERE YOU.

And, even though this was a Florida lottery thing and Florida bought most of the tickets, nobody from Florida actually won. Because Jesus hates you, Florida.

The winning tickets were apparently sold in Arizona and Missouri, but officials don't yet know if the tickets were purchased by individuals or by groups.

See also:
-Powerball Fever Spreads Across Florida

The jackpot was a record $579.9 million, making this Powerball the biggest balls ever, and the second-largest top prize in U.S. lottery history.

Sue Dooley, a production coordinator for the Multi-State Lottery Association, said one winning ticket had been bought in each state.

Early Wednesday morning, the jackpot was at $500 million. And even with the odds of winning being 1 in 175 million, people still bought tickets in droves -- approximately 4,100 a minute -- increasing the jackpot to record levels.

The final jackpot tally came to $579.9 big ones, with the cash option $379.8 million.

So we all collectively made those winners in Arizona and Missouri even richer! TEAMWORK.

The winning numbers that were drawn up were: 5, 16, 22, 23, 29 and Powerball of 6.

So, as you can plainly see, your children's birth dates DO NOT WORK WITH THE LOTTERY.

Keep that in mind next time, professor.

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