With the Republican National Convention all ready to kick off at the beginning of this week, many feared Tropical Storm Isaac would come and ruin all the fun, festivities, and chances to make old people scared of the black man, who may or may not be a Muslim and may or may not even be American, in the White House.
But thanks to Lake City, Florida,-based Keys of Authority Ministries, the RNC is going to be just fine, because they prayed that Isaac would go away. And it did.
Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) correspondent Paul Strand spoke to Keys of Authority Pastor Jesten Peters, who told him her ministry's prayers, and not a common high-pressure ridge and southeastern trough, pushed Isaac away and saved Tampa and the RNC.
"We have had lots and lots of people praying around the clock that it would move," Peters says in the video. "And if you watch from the very beginning where they were saying it was coming up and now where they're saying it's going, then it's really moved a lot for us, and we appreciate God doing that and moving it for us."
Yes, they did say from the beginning where it would end up. And now look-it! Isaac ended up in the Gulf of Mexico, where it's currently a category 1 hurricane headed straight for New Orleans.
Because God loves the Republicans and the RNC.
Them baby-killin' gays in New Orleans gaying up America with their gayness and baby-killing ways? Pfft.
Much appreciated, God.