Rep. Alan Grayson Tells Congress They're Less Popular Than Dog Feces and Hemorrhoids

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

With the government shutdown entering a full week and no end in sight, Americans' already unpopular view of Congress is reaching ludicrous speed.

Florida Rep. Alan Grayson took to the floor Wednesday to introduce a resolution declaring the government shutdown a "mark upon the dignity of the House" by asserting privilege 9 and reading off a recent Public Policy Polling survey that shows what Americans really think of Congress.

Namely that we all think Congress is far less appealing than zombies, cockroaches, toenail fungus, hemorrhoids, and dog poop.

Sounds about right.

"What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or witches? Congress, 32 percent; witches, 46 percent," Grayson says, reading off the poll numbers. "What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or hemorrhoids? Congress, 31 percent; hemorrhoids, 53 percent. What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or dog poop? Congress 40 percent; dog poop 47 percent."

Of course, Speaker pro tempore Steve Womack (R-AR) was none too thrilled over Grayson's pointing out that people prefer dog feces over Congress and that this was not the proper way of expressing why this resolution was privileged under rule 9.

Never mind the fact that the GOPers never hesitate to grind government to a halt with a 20-hour filibuster every time the president does something that makes them grumpy or the fact that the Republicans are now holding the entire nation hostage in the largest hissy fit in the history of America.

A poll where actual Americans say they prefer having a fiery hot itch in their buttholes over Congress is where the line is drawn, gentleman from Florida!

So Womack kept banging his gavel and interrupting Grayson and telling him to get to the point, failing to see that the survey's finding was the point.

Grayson wasn't allowed to finish his argument and never got his vote. Because only GOPer congressmen are allowed to say ridiculous things.

But let it be known that the fact that dog poo is better than Congress is now forever in the congressional record for historians to ponder over for centuries to come.

Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.