Broward News

Rick Scott can tap Whomever he Wants for Broward School Board. We have a few Suggestions.

The Broward School Board has two open seats, and Governor Rick Scott can totally fill them with whichever merchants of doom he sees fit.

He's already on fire in that respect, having appointed Timothy Sargent and Juan Portuondo, neither being what you'd call tree huggers, to the board that oversees water conservation. Then there's James Norton, the former bank CEO he tapped for Gulf County Schools Superintendent.

Here are some South Florida stars we think might fare swimmingly as school board members, at least from Scott's warped perspective:

Jerry Fadgen, a former Plantation City Council member and mayoral candidate, should be a shoe-in because of his wholesome values. After all, when the council was approached about filming part of There's Something About Mary at city hall, he voted yes...but then got pissed off when he found out it was a smidge raunchy. Plus, he brings at least one of his own prior conflicts of interest to the table - always a plus, especially on this board.

Barney Bishop is out as head of lobbying giant Associated Industries of Florida. As of Dec. 31st of this year, he may be looking for something to do. If his opposition to unions is any indication, he'd be a swell fit for the body responsible for negotiating with all those greedy, demanding teachers.

Bruce and Shawn Chait, developers and alleged bribers extraordinaire. After all, in tight times like these, why not cut out the middle man?

This bear. Yes, Florida has bears, at least for now. Extrapolating from Scott's logic for appointing Norton (the guy has a master's in education, but Scott instead cites his extensive "private business" experience as sound reasoning), one might think this would be an excellent choice. Like many results-oriented business types, bears seem to have a tendency toward not fucking around.

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Kate Bradshaw