Rick Scott is back on the voter-purge horse because Rick Scott is a voter fraud crusader!
On Wednesday, state officials sent local elections supervisors a list of 198 people on the voter rolls who are supposedly noncitizens. The state said about 38 of those registered voters had cast a ballot in the past, despite their ineligibility. Thirty-eight! The purge is on!
Scott began his voter-purge crusade back in May. But his first wave of attacks were met with sad trombone sounds because the list of about 2,600 names had a crapload of errors, including having a huge chunk of actual, honest-to-goodness citizens erroneously identified as noncitizens, even though they are brown-colored and don't spekah deh Engleesh.
Oh but that ain't stopping Gov. McCreepyPants from his mission. No, sir!
This time around, the state has access to a federal database to cross-reference the names on their list so they can be more accurate in
screwing up the election for Obama and the Democrats in November purging those vile noncitizens from voter rolls.
According to Florida Secretary of State Ken Detzner, this new list was produced by comparing Florida's 12-million-person voter rolls with a federal immigration database.
"The state is not telling county elections supervisors, 'Remove these people.' We are providing information for the counties to examine," spokesman Chris Cate said. "The supervisors have the discretion to keep anyone who is on this list on the voter rolls."
We're not telling election supervisors to stop people from entering the voting booth. We're just telling them to keep an eye out for people who probably, maybe, might not be real Americans but mostly likely are, so they can ask for their ID so they can then stop them from entering the voting booth. SEE THE DIFF??
Under state law, county elections supervisors will send a certified letter to anyone flagged as a potential noncitizen. This flagged person will have to show proof of citizenship to remain on the rolls. Voting is already kind of a pain in the ass. And now all brown-colored, funny-named people are gonna have to prove they belong so they can vote.
It sounds like a delightful plan! Except that, with less than 40 days remaining to the election, it also looks shady as shit.
There is zero evidence of voter fraud in Florida (well, except for this one) and while there have been a handful of noncitizens who have voted, the numbers don't justify Scott going Robert De Niro with a baseball bat in the Untouchables on minority voters who are totally legit citizens but should be checked up on anyway because about 30 people who were not citizens once cast a vote.
The cray-zay and completely coincidental twist to all this is that Florida's list of "ineligible" voters is filled with Hispanics and African-Americans -- most of them Democrats. Because white Republicans never cheat. It's just science, man!
With so little time left before the election, there is just no way to get this done right or in an orderly fashion. It's controlled chaos. It's voter suppression.
Maybe to combat the scary hordes of noncitizen voters who will invade Election Day like an unstoppable rebel force is to give away fake mustaches and wigs to Republican voters so they can vote twice. This is just as sound an idea as the voter-purge thing. Cheaper, even!
Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.