Sarah Palin's Emails, Translated to South Florida

Recently, thousands of pages of emails from Sarah Palin's tenure as governor of Alaska were released to news organizations. (It took three years to get the records, partly because Palin shared Rick Scott's disdain for public email accounts.)

But now, readers can get a small peek at Palin's previously private conversations, including notes from her family. My favorite is a February 2008 email from Palin's daughter, Bristol -- the poster child for abstinence -- hitting her mom up for some dough.

"Hello Mother, Um, I'm sitting in library and I really thing you need to get Piper a

cell phone!! Wouldn't that be so adorable! She could text me while she was in class!! It's a done deal right?! Perfect! Ok, I will talk to you later and I need some cash flow! Love ya!"

How adorable. Can't you imagine South Florida politicians having similar chats with their parents? Take Broward County Commissioner Stacy Ritter and her dad, former Tamarac commissioner Ed Portner, who threatened Ritter with a gun in 2009.

Hi Dad, I'm sitting here on the dais, and I really think you need to consider getting out of politics. I'm not sure you're thinking clearly and usually mayors have to be lucid at least 20% of the time. Seriously, how about dropping out of the race? I will talk to you later. And by the way, what's with the gun?

Or Rick Scott, writing to his mom:

Hi Mom, Thanks for the new TV ad supporting me. I always knew you believed in me. By the way, could you spot me a few thousand bucks? I had to sell off all my shares of Solantic, and now I can't afford the home waterboarding kit I've been craving. Thanks. It's a done deal, right?! Love ya!

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