In case you were trapped under something heavy, the big news is that the New England Patriots won their fourth Super Bowl last night by defeating the Seattle Seahawks 28-24.
Much to the chagrin of Dolphins fans everywhere, the Patriots are the picture of sustained excellence in the NFL. This current franchise has gone to six Super Bowls and won four of them since 2001. The Fins, meanwhile, have flailed and flopped their way through a miserable existence since they last won the big game 41 years ago.
And here's some more crappy news for Dolphins fans everywhere: There's likely no end to all of that flailing and flopping. Because the Fins are so far from being like the Patriots -- or the Seahawks, for that matter -- it's tragic.
How far off, you ask? Here are seven reasons the Miami Dolphins will never reach the pinnacle like the Patriots have: