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Seven Times Floridians Shot Themselves by Accident

On Wednesday, news came out that Florida ranks second in the U.S. in school shootings since the Sandy Hook tragedy two years ago.

Also, Floridians took advantage of this year's Black Friday and bought themselves a crazy amount of guns. According to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, it was the third busiest day ever for gun sales in Florida.

This, along with the fact that no other state has more registered concealed weapons permits.

The point is: Florida LOVES guns. And yet, Florida remains Florida. So, bad things are bound to happen when you mix those two facts together.

Here now are seven times (out of the hundreds) when Floridians accidentally shot themselves in the dumbest ways imaginable:

7. That Time a Florida Man Shot Himself While Bowling In 2013, a Jupiter man went bowling and, naturally, was packing some heat in his bowling shorts. Because you never know when a shootout is gonna go down in a bowling alley. This isn't 'Nam. There are rules.

Apparently, as the man was rearing back to roll his bowling ball, he hit the leg pocket in his shorts where his gun was concealed. The firearm went off, hitting him in the leg.

Since this was a bowling alley, the sound of gunfire was pretty loud.

"Everybody kind of stopped," one witness told WPBF. "We were way down on this end. Everybody was looking, and all of a sudden you can tell something wasn't right."

According to the report, the man "limped back to his seat, holding his leg" after the shot went off. So points for accidentally shooting yourself in the leg while bowling but still managing to try to play if off like it was just a cramp.

6. That Time a Florida Man Threatened to Shoot His Wife's Dog but Ended Up Shooting Himself in the Face Instead What do you do when you can't find your goddamned lighter? You threaten to shoot your wife's dog, that's what. Except when you do, try really hard not to shoot yourself in the face. It's tricky, but it can be done if you follow the simple rule of pointing the barrel at your intended target instead of at your face.

Back in November, a Tampa-area man got superpissed because he couldn't find his lighter. He started fighting with his wife over it and eventually whipped out a gun and began to threaten one of her 13 collies. He probably figured he could afford to take one out, and she'd still learn her lesson. Or maybe the dog knew where the lighter was and was just fucking with the guy. Either way.

Apparently, the man -- who had an extensive arrest record for domestic battery and assaults -- began waving the gun as he shouted threats. Inexplicably, the barrel of the gun somehow ended up pointed at his face. As he went to release the hammer of the gun, it went off, killing him.

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph

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