Six Best Things That Happened in Dan Campbell's Debut as Dolphins Head Coach

Well, it appears that Dan Campbell has scared the suck right out of the Dolphins. After a sluggish start to the season that saw Miami eek out one win in four tries, the Campbell Era took off like a phoenix rising from the ashes and then grabbing a bazooka and...
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Well, it appears that Dan Campbell has scared the suck right out of the Dolphins.

After a sluggish start to the season that saw Miami eek out one win in four tries, the Campbell Era took off like a phoenix rising from the ashes and then grabbing a bazooka and blowing people's faces off with it. The Dolphins not only beat the Tennessee Titans on Sunday 38-10. They obliterated them with a complete game that saw the offense, defense, and special teams all drop-kick the Titans' collective throats while announcing to the world that Dan Campbell has arrived and that everyone should be afraid. 

So while we can talk about how the team the Dolphins beat is terrible and hasn't won a home game since the George W. Bush administration and how it's probably not a great idea to get overly excited about Campbell's debut — we won't.

Because wins are rare around here. And even rarer are blowout wins where the Dolphins own all phases of the game. So we won't talk about how the Titans are terrible and have a rookie quarterback and have won only a single game this year and are fresh off a season where they went 2-14. We won't talk about that stuff. Because, why urinate into the Victory Monday coffee? 

Instead, we'll talk about the best things that happened in this game. In ALL CAPS. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW DAN CAMPBELL WOULD WRITE THINGS:

The offense was a monster on Sunday from the word GO, mercilessly smashing the Titans in the face with a piano over and over again until their defensive players had piano keys for teeth. Bill Lazor not only ran the ball a lot (WHICH IS HUGE!!!!) but he got innovative on our asses, busting out a Liberty Play with Jarvis Landry to cap off Miami's opening drive with a sweet touchdown. Bill Lazor is very clearly afraid that Dan Cambell is going to beat him into a pile of dust with his bare hands.


Holy crap burgers, have people been killing Ryan Tannehill this season. And for good reason. He has been an amorphous blob of shit with shoulder pads pretty much since week one. This has mainly been because his offensive line refuses to stop letting giant men gang-tackle him. Still, Sunday saw the glorious return of Captain Vanilla as he relentlessly clubbed the Titans' defense in the face with a violent display of clutchness, completing 22 of 29 passes for 266 yards and two touchdowns. The two interceptions were hardly his fault. The first came after Jordan Cameron forgot that you use your hands to catch the ball and it deflected into a defender's arms. The second came after Jordan Cameron forgot that you need to turn around and look for the ball to catch the ball and it landed in a defender's arms. Still, it's amazing how Tannehill can go from looking like a capable NFL quarterback to a guy who is being chased by a pack of hyenas. It's all about the offensive line, and when it blocks well, Tannehill slings it. He even managed to hit on a deep ball, which is like seeing a unicorn. 

Cameron Wake was once again THE KRAKEN on Sunday when he completely obliterated the Titans' offensive line and plowed into Marcus Mariota's face all day long. The Dolphins hadn't recorded a sack since week one, and yet on Sunday, Wake was able to reclaim his title as Baddest Mother on Your Block and sacked Tennessee's rookie quarterback four times. This is what fans had been waiting for since the beginning of the season — for Wake to brutalize the competition and take over games singlehandedly. 

Since week one, Wake has been a shell of himself, invisible and ineffective. 

On Sunday, Cam Wake was all


It's bananas what can happen to an offense when the running back is actually given the ball to run. 

Last week, there was a big hubbub made about how Ryan Tannehill trash-talked some of the practice-squad guys by saying he would build them a trophy case. There was also a report, which he denied, that said he made fun of their paychecks. But this week, Dan Campbell went out of his way to give huge credit to practice players during his postgame victory speech.

After Stephen Ross' awkward introduction and game-ball delivery, Campbell talks up Chris McCain and Sam Brenner as guys who helped the Dolphins prepare all week. 

Side note: What did Campbell do to Ross' arm when he shook his hand? It looks like Ross has puppet arms.  


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