The big game is almost here, and so are all those annoying people you invited to your party out of cordiality. If you're smart, you've procrastinated sending out those invitations as long as possible. And your procrastination has paid off, because I'm going to help you weed all the duds out of your party.
Here are the six people you most definitely do not want to invite to your Super Bowl party.
1. The "I just watch for the commercials" person. Why don't you tell us one more time how your favorite part is the commercials? You know what my favorite part of the night is? When you leave!
Oh, you read Adweek and you were a marketing major? Impressive. Why don't you analyze the Go Daddy commercial we just saw. I'm curious about the subtext behind 30 seconds of slow-motion boobs.
2. The person who talks during the commercials I know I just insulted the commercial guy, but he has a point. I do love those things. Talking animals and celebrity cameos make me forget about all the people who are dying in Syria!
So shut up! Now I have to re-watch them all tomorrow on Youtube because you couldn't stop pointing out every celebrity in the Pepsi commercial.
Ooo look, it's Beyonce! Ooo look, it's Justin Timberlake!
Ooo look, it's my fist heading right for your temple!