The penny pinchers at Spirit Airlines have come up with a new way to ruin your flying experience. Starting in early November, the Miramar-based discount carrier will charge up to $100 for a carry-on bag. The fee only applies if, like us, you procrastinate packing, sprint through the airport, and end up having to pay for the bag at the gate.If you're one of those weirdo advance planners, it will still cost you $35 to pay for the bag online, or $50 at the airline counter. Checking a bag will cost $30 to $45.
Never fear. The staffers at the Pulp have expert advice for avoiding all such fees.
Fly naked. We've suggested this before, and are still hoping it will become a trend.
Invest in a man purse. We're told they're all the rage in Managua.
Wear 14 layers of clothes, like Great-Uncle Ira did when he came to visit. Sweat through takeoff, and be nice and toasty by the time you reach grandma's house in Pittsburgh.
Insist your bag contains a toy poodle who will suffocate if stuffed into the overhead bin.
Pack nothing. Ransack a Wal-Mart when you reach your destination, taking care to thank the workers in China for your savings.