Stars Are Born

Embrace it, Dalia.

That's my advice to Dalia Dippolito. Via her attorney, she's complaining about being tricked by the TV show COPS into signing a release after her arrest for allegedly hiring an undercover deputy to kill her husband. (The Palm Beach Post got the story, but it's on the Sun-Sentinel site).

So, sister, you don't want to be on TV? Well, you already are. In fact, you're a tabloid sensation, a regular these days on the likes of Nancy Grace. You're a star. And you were discovered by the Boynton Beach Police Department, which produced your first movie, a role of a lifetime. Sure, you weren't terribly convincing as the grief-stricken wife, but now the sky's the limit.

But you better start plotting. The ex-con you married and wanted killed, Michael Dippolito, is already hitting the TV circuit. You know he's seeing big dollar signs from Hollywood for his rights. And he's already proven he'll lie, cheat and steal for profit, like when he opened up a sham telemarketing company in Boca Raton in 2002 and managed to rip off $229,000 from suck--, er, customers. The Broward Sheriff's Office arrested him then, but didn't have the foresight to put it on film. He only did about seven months in prison, but he's still on probation and will be for most of his life.

You must have known he was a convicted con man when you married him, right? Obviously you have a thing for the kind of guy who would have made a convincing extra in The Sopranos. Or was it the woman he had tattooed on his arm or the Italian flag on his left leg that hooked you in? I'm pretty sure it wasn't the likeness of Jesus on his right leg that pulled you in.

Regardless, you tried to beat a guy who has beaten people (financially, at least) for a living. And he got you. Now you just know he's going to take this to the bank.  

"It's like a bad movie," Michael told the Today show yesterday.

Exactly. And those can be very profitable. Now you may be tied up a little with those pesky Son of Sam laws that keep criminals from cashing in on their high-flying crimes. (I know it's not fair, Dalia, but it's just the way it is). Your hook, of course, is your mother. You just feed your story through her and she sells her rights to the producer. Suh-weet. You're staying with her now, so it should be a cinch.  

Good luck and enjoy your freedom while you can!

-- Just for fun, here's an MMA fighter jumping out of a pool. I saw it a while back and thought it seemed like an interesting feat, but nothing too great. Then I tried it and I might as well have been trying to do a double back flip standing on the beach. His name is BJ Penn and it's already got more than 3 million views.  


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