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Statewide Tebow Crush Now Officially Creepy

Florida is utterly besotted with Florida Gators QB Tim Tebow. The latest demonstration is Tebow's being appointed by Gov. Charlie Crist to co-chair the Council on Physical Fitness. It's gotten so bad, that I defy you to get a perfect score on the True-False test below. Click on the link if you believe the statement true, and you'll either get confirmation or a message that you've erred.

  1. Tebow made his decision to attend the University of Florida during a high school field trip to the Sinai peninsula after reaching the top of a mountain that Biblical scholars believe was the same one where Moses received the Ten Commandments.
  2. A group of male students have a section in the Swamp called the Tebone Zone and have questioned whether Tebow's refusal to jump into the section following a touchdown is homophobia based on the quarterback's conservative Christian background.
  3. Horny UF co-eds have launched an underwear line called TeeBows in the quarterback's honor.
  4. Tebow once played one-on-one with Heat star Dwyane Wade for charity. Tebow won. Wade credited Tebow's game but blamed his own poor performance on his slow recovery from a shoulder injury.
  5. While campaigning against a state ban of gay marriage, a spokesperson for Equality Florida, the gay rights organization, warned that if the constitutional amendment passed it would mean the state's male Gator fans would never get to marry Tebow
After the jump, Nos. 6-10.

  1. Tebow recently played a round of golf with Phil Mickelson.
  2. Tebow has trimmed the foreskin from orphans while performing missionary work in the Phillipines.
  3. Tebow devoted a recent off-season to a speaking tour of Florida prisons, where he charmed surly inmates with humor and Christ.
  4. If Florida had a mountain, Tebow's face would be among the four that would be carved into it, Mt. Rushmore-style.
  5. "Tebow" was reportedly the first word uttered by a Daytona Beach man and lifelong Gators fan upon waking from a coma in February, following a 2008 car crash.

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Thomas Francis

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