Headline from a Clark Spencer story in the Miami Herald: "Marlins can't seem to find their place." Thought they found their place during the first week of the season: last.
And this from a crime brief in the Palm Beach Post: "Quarrel leaves homeless man in critical condition." A quarrel never hurt anybody. The dude was basically bashed in the head and left for dead in an alley. That's no quarrel. That's a g-d attack.
The lead headline this morning on the Herald web site: "DNA lets man walk." Well, duh.
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From the Palm Beach Post web site: "See Jewel and Rob Thomas at Mizner Park." Okay, but first please let me stick a rusty ice pick in my eye. Then I'd like to jam the ends of broken bottles into the soles of my feet. What fun.