Health

Swine and the Seniors: A Frightening Couple

South Florida's senior citizen population has had a rough few months. What with the fear-mongering about death panels in Obama's health care plan, and worries that cuts in Medicare will leave them penniless on bingo night, the news has not been good.

Now comes the swine flu vaccine, a health care scare that elderly people can totally get behind. They don't mind waiting in line for the chance to inject a weird mist up their noses. They still read newspapers, so the hysterical, bold-faced headlines about vaccine shortages make a big impact at their breakfast tables. Plus, they hate everything to do with swine. It's not kosher, you know.

And yet, they're being told they can't have it. Imagine the insult! Hordes of frail

Bubbes and Poppys have been calling the Palm Beach County Health Department, angry that they're at the bottom of the priority list to receive the vaccine.

You can hardly blame them. They've been bombarded for months with predictions of a mass pandemic. And as members of the Greatest Generation, they are prepared to defend their country against this grave new threat. They can't help but overlook small details, such as reports saying the disease is more deadly for young whipper-snappers and pregnant women than for anyone else.

They need Sarah Silverman to guide them. Or maybe Jason Jones, who made an Oscar-worthy video about STDs and South Florida's seniors. Whatever it takes, please, let's keep Grandma safe from swine...fear.

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Lisa Rab
Contact: Lisa Rab