Good morning, Pulpsters! Had breakfast yet? Hope so. Because we got a story about a dude who shot himself in the cock! Happy Wednesday!
A Port St. Lucie teen bought himself a gun (always a terrific way to start a story, ain't it?).
So there he was, cleaning his gun, as people with guns are wont to do, when all of a sudden the gun went off and the teenager shot himself through his penis and testicle.
Cops say 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio lied to them, initially saying someone had shot him as he walked down the street. But after further questioning, Smeriglio confessed.
Can't blame the kid for not wanting to 'fess up to the truth.
Also, just one testicle? HOW ACCURATE!
Doctors told WTSP that the bullet went through his penis and his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh.
Smeriglio told cops that he had purchased his gun at a party, which is probably the most Port St. Lucie thing to ever happen in Port St. Lucie.
According to the Daily Mail, the teen's Facebook page has pictures of him and his bros leaning on BMWs and in front of mirrors.
While investigating the incident, cops found marijuana inside the home where the cockblast happened. That led to the arrest of the homeowner, 22-year-old Joseph Lamar, who was booked on drug charges.
And although the ending of the story sounds unfair because Lamar got caught thanks to his friend being too stupid to unload his gun while cleaning it, keep in mind that his friend shot himself in the dick.
It's all about perspective.