Celebrity tweets can be an incoherent mess, or they can be 140 characters of dull insipid nothingness.
This is especially true for pro athletes, most of whom hold their personalities in check and never venture outside their comfort zones to show their human side.
Most pro athlete tweets are horrible.
But there are some that are actually fun to follow -- particularly locally. From the Dolphins to the Marlins to your NBA champion Heat, there are plenty of players who have fun, engaging Twitters.
Here are the ten best Miami pro athlete Twitter feeds to follow:
10. Richie Incognito, guard, Miami Dolphins
Death by shark attack would be a pretty epic way to go tho. It would be better that growing old and forgetting your own name IMO
— Richie incognito (@68INCOGNITO) August 7, 2013
Milk was a bad choice pic.twitter.com/pYcyg3BQYe
— Richie incognito (@68INCOGNITO) June 29, 2013
Existential musings about death by shark and quoting Anchorman lines is all about it.
9. Cameron Wake, defensive end, Miami Dolphins
Talk is cheap...walking is expensive
— Cameron Wake (@Kold91) October 28, 2012
How do you watch a game where you want both teams to lose,... I'm conflicted on every play.. #ThursdayNightFootball
— Cameron Wake (@Kold91) September 13, 2013
We have no idea what that first one means. Walking is expensive? Better save up if you're gonna walk. Like set aside some extra walking money, just in case. It all makes sense when you think about it.
Either way... you gotta love Wake's Twitter because he hates the Jets and the Patriots just as much as you do.
8. Jose Fernandez, starting pitcher, Miami Marlins
Yeah yeah long fly and long night! pic.twitter.com/RqlnMO2VuY
— jose fernandez (@josefernandez77) September 12, 2013
— Miami New Times (@MiamiNewTimes) September 4, 2013
How can you not love and follow Jose Fernandez? His broken English and earnestness is endearing. Plus, he's not afraid to post pics like this!
He's the best pitcher in baseball, a Rookie of the Year favorite, and quickly winning the hearts of a very jaded Marlins fanbase.
Also, points for retweeting the New Times!
7. Giancarlo Stanton, outfielder, Miami Marlins
— Giancarlo Stanton (@Giancarlo818) July 10, 2013
You're welcome, ladies.
6. Mario Chalmers, point guard, Miami Heat
This dude next to me is straight diggin in his nose. He gonna pull out a big booger and then look at me. Yea I seen yo nasty a**
— Mario Chalmers (@mchalmers15) August 30, 2013
Momma always told me put nothin past no one. Well momma lesson was learned today. #ontothenext
— Mario Chalmers (@mchalmers15) August 27, 2013
Rio tweets like he plays basketball... kind of all over the place.
AND THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM SO.
5. Dwyane Wade, guard, Miami Heat
The DIFFERENCE between failure & success is doing something NEARLY right and doing it EXACTLY RIGHT! Don't CHEAT your GRIND!
— THREE (@DwyaneWade) September 12, 2013
— THREE (@DwyaneWade) September 13, 2013
— THREE (@DwyaneWade) September 9, 2013
Sure his Twitter pep-talks make as much sense as Cameron Wakes'. And yes his logo looks like an asshole.
But, D-Wade brings his cool style, and suave badassness to Twitter like no other. From tweeting out Instagrams of him and LeBron goofing off to showing us how every girl is truly crazy about a sharp-dressed man, Wade brings it. Also, don't CHEAT your GRIND.
4. Chris Bosh, center/forward, Miami Heat
Gonna take some time, stretch out and walk on the clouds for a bit. Just a pit stop though. Got more places to land.... http://t.co/YJwmkE7k2W
— Chris Bosh (@chrisbosh) September 11, 2013
Chris Bosh might be the most centered star athlete you'll ever follow on Twitter. His feed has him being a jokester and a clown. But it also features stuff like this, where you feel like Bosh is just as comfortable taking in world cultures as he is dunking a basketball.
3. LeBron James, forward, Miami Heat
— LeBron James (@KingJames) August 21, 2013
— LeBron James (@KingJames) August 20, 2013
LeBron James has come a long way from when he first hit the pro sports scene. His persona seemed manufactured and carefully sculpted. But since joining the Heat, the greatest basketball player in the world has shown his many sides on Twitter. Whether he's being silly, or working out, or sharing his moments with his fiance (now wife), or venting about the "haters," LeBron is never boring.
Think about all the great super star athletes: Tiger, Jordan, Jeter -- all great, but all boring.
LeBron, not so much
2. Shane Battier, forward, Miami Heat
Best present you ask? Matching tuxedo tshirts for me and my kiddoes. It says Battiers are classy but like to party. pic.twitter.com/7hb30IUI1c
— Shane Battier (@ShaneBattier) September 10, 2013
— Shane Battier (@ShaneBattier) August 25, 2013
Smart, funny, and engaging, Shane Battier is everything that's cool about following a pro athlete on Twitter.
1. Logan Morrison, outfielder, Miami Marlins
Pizza Hut. Goes down good. Comes out bad, very bad.
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) May 27, 2013
Sorry 2 every1 I cut off this morning. I didn't know if I was going 2 make it 2 the little boys room be4 I pappad in my pants #confettiebutt
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) May 17, 2013
It should be said after you fart bc I know that there have to be evil demons in my colon. #stinkybung
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) May 3, 2013
How can a guy that tweets out shit jokes NOT be number one?