Last week, we gave you a heads-up about some new legislation in Tallahassee that might throw up roadblocks for recreational smokers. Rep. Darryl Rouson has put up a bill that will ban the sale of bongs and glass smoking pieces throughout the Sunshine State. Florida's Legislature has come down hard on paraphernalia in the past, so it's not so much of a long shot to see a day ahead when head shops' shelves are bare. But let's be honest: Is taking away the tools really going to slow use? Every stoner worth an eighth can tap an inner Al Borland and make do. Here's a field guide of possible alternatives.
10. Pen pipe
Easy enough. You don't have to be some DIY genius to cook one of these up. That might be why it's a favorite option with the young ones -- at least that's the impression we picked up on YouTube. The only people making these videos sound like the voices on the other end of the drive-through window.
9. POM bong
Traditionally, the Gatorade bottle has been the go-to for a jerry-rigged water bong. But it looks like the kids today are more into POM bottles, thanks to the container's va-va-voom shape. (On a side note, the creep in this video is going to make you want to immediately blunt all your senses as quickly as possible once you're done watching. That, or swear off all substances for the rest of your days).
This is a classic that everyone talks about but few have pulled off. (Once again, ditto with this dude. Put these guys together in the same video and you have a great anti-drug ad.)
7. Super Soaker bong
You know you had a couple of these around the house growing up. It seems like the same system that allows you to dose your little brother with a weak stream of water might be a little more efficient at passing smoke.
6. Lego bong
Speaking of all those old toys you still have hanging around the house...
5. Fishing pole pipe
This one comes courtesy of Master Bong, the self-professed McGyver of pot. Really, he's more like the Martha Stewart of the good green, not only offering at-home tips but also recipes and recommendations. Crafty guy, have to say.
4. Super Nintendo controller pipe
What's the deal with all these stoners still having their childhood toys around? MC Popped Collar here gutted an old Nintendo handhold and reworked that sucka into the most street shit eva, yo. Or something like that.
3. Starburst candy pipe
Again, the handiwork of Master Bong, and really, this is a true piece of work.
: "Hey, man, you ready to smoke?" "Yeah, what we using?" "Oh, just this heady piece I rigged up with a plunger." *Silence*
1. Fish bong
Whelp, this is pretty much the apex of weed-jonesing, when you're willing to go mouth-to-mouth with a salmon for a good hit. Considering the stocked waterways we have in this state, you can pretty much guess a Floridian will never be too far away from a possible smoking piece.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to New Times Broward-Palm Beach's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling South Florida's stories with no paywalls.