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Ten Most Shameful Things to Admit in Fort Lauderdale

Fort Lauderdale is one of the most vibrant and dynamic cities in the world. It's the Venice of America. It's the yachting capital of the world. It's eco-friendly. Unfortunately, all those accolades don't always extend to its opinions.

This is a city that has a thriving downtown vibe and is known for its beaches. But all that is glitter is not always gold.

Here, then, are the ten most shameful things to confess to in Fort Lauderdale (save for, of course, some of the sillier laws against helping the homeless):

See also: Ten Things You Say That Make You a Fort Lauderdalian

10. You've never actually owned a yacht Look. This is the yachting capital of the world. There's water everywhere. Traffic jams are measured by the time it takes a drawbridge to close up again. It's America's Venice. We have the biggest boat show in the U.S. And yet, you probably don't fall into the 2 percent of people who own a yacht. You've probably never even been on a yacht. But, whatever you do, don't admit this out loud. You're a Fort Lauderdalian, damn it. And you're all about that yacht life.

9. You're not entirely sure what all this homeless feeding ordinance business is all about OUTRAGE! SO MUCH OUTRAGE! WHY ARE ALL THE PEOPLE OUTRAGED? Yes, a 90-year-old man was cited for feeding the homeless. Yes, this is the biggest story going down in the city right now. No, it's not as simple as it seems. Might be good for you to brush up on why exactly Arnold Abbott has been getting into trouble with the cops and why the city suddenly isn't allowing him to feed the homeless.

8. You'd rather go club-hopping in South Beach Sure, there's Trapeze and Off the Hookah and the Art Bar. But you'd rather hit up LIV like all the other cool kids. Douche move? Oh hell yes. But you do it anyway and, of course, you never openly admit it.

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph

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