Come Friday afternoon, you'll be either sleeping because you just got home from Black Friday shopping or you'll be at the gym, working off all the food you ate the day prior. That's right, it's almost turk-a-lurk day; time to get your fat pants out, Fatty McFatterson.
See also: Ten Things You Say That Make You a Fort Lauderdalian
Here in South Florida, we have so much to be thankful for. We are truly blessed to call such a beautiful place home. While others are shoveling their driveways this time of year, we are vacuuming sand out of our car -- the Sunshine State just does holidays better. Of all the things we are thankful for, these are just a few:
10. South Florida is so very thankful for the equator. Shoutout to all the equators! If weather was a thing you had to reup with your provider every year, the lines in South Florida at the weather store would make the lines to buy the Apple iPhone 6 look like a Florida Panthers ticket window.
Thank you, equator God; you're the real MVP.
9. South Florida is thankful for Publix, because it makes shopping a pleasure.
Nowadays new supermarkets are popping up that require you to put a quarter into the shopping cart to use it, like it's Mrs. Pac-Man or something. Here in South Florida, we take Publix for granted; other states have no idea what a Publix is. Seriously, thank you, Publix. I'm a grown-ass man; I don't need to be telling people I shop at a place called Piggly Wiggly.
8. South Florida is thankful for Willis Haviland Carrier, because his beautiful ass invented the air-conditioner in 1902.
None of this South Florida business would be possibly without ol' WHC; dude changed the game when he invented A/C. If Willis Carrier were here right now, I would take him to World of Beer, order a pitcher and some jalapeno poppers, then give him the tour of all the air-conditioning vents as we high-fived and hugged in celebration.
Shit yes for air-conditioning, I love you, Willis Carrier. You're the reason for the season.
