So after the first four episodes of Broward's double-X chromosome cop show, the main characters are getting a little more fleshed out. We've seen Detective Andrea Penoyer scream at crack heads, mother her son (sometimes seconds before screaming at crack heads), go to the beach in a hot pink bikini with some fellow attractive BSO women (where she explained that she isn't afraid of crack heads, but sea urchins are too much), shop for guns (instead of purses, she explains), and generally wheel around Broward county cracking skulls and hauling people to jail (at which time Penoyer is likely to say, "you're going to jail, have a nice day!").
We've seen Detective Ana Murillo make a man just done patronizing a prostitute wet himself of a public sidewalk, chase down several scrambling drug dealers, and pull a bag of weed from a woman's vagina. Sex crimes Detective Julie Bower has dressed up like a hooker, investigate a hideous four-way rape scene, and comfort a "jiggy" stripper. Deputy Shelunda Cooper has mostly discussed her sweet husband (also a Deputy Cooper), talked about how she's seen a lot of weird stuff, and resolved entertaining (and sometimes sad) petty disputes.
So it's in this context that we can examine the ten best quotes from last night's episode.
In no particular order:
- Murillo: "We found a large amount of marijuana, a large amount of cocaine, and we found a ferret. I went to pull it--ugh! I thought it was a rat!"
- Penoyer: "I know sometimes people look at me and they go, 'She's just a little blond girl. She couldn't take me.' But I'm like a Jack Russell, baby. I ain't afraid. I'll jump in there!"
- Male detective to suspect: "You've been arrested three times for car jacking, true or false?" Suspect: "False. The name of it is Grand Theft Auto. For stealing a car."
- Bower: "I don't care what anybody else thinks. I don't care about style. I could care less. I mean, if I feel comfortable with my hair being wild and crazy and poofy, that's too bad. That's just the way it is."
- Penoyer: "You know what crack does to people, right? The addiction is terrible. Like they would sell their ass for crack, right? You think somebody would forget their crack in your car? Or are they just being good Samaritans, 'I'll just leave it there in case he wants it later?'" Suspect: "They probably left it in there by mistake."
- Cooper [to a woman arguing with her daughter-in-law]: "Do me a favor. Lower your voice and shut your mouth, OK?"
- Murillo: "Oh, I hope somebody runs!"
- Penoyer [about her father]: "I don't think he raised me really to be a girl, because I don't think he knew how to do that. Ya know, he wasn't sympathetic. He didn't slap a Band-aid on my knee when I skinned it. He told me to throw dirt in it. So I took my parenting techniques from him."
- Bower: "If there guy's in a wheel chair, I mean, how far could he go?"
- Penoyer: "Happy Birthday! They'll have a bologna sandwich waiting for you at the jail."