Sports

Vegas: Dolphins Have Historically Terrible Odds of Making Playoffs

The 2019 Miami Dolphins are destined to be a historically terrible team.
The 2019 Miami Dolphins are destined to be a historically terrible team. Photo by Mark Brown / Getty Images
Perhaps you've seen it in the newspapers, but for those who just returned from a backpacking trip through the Amazon, we have some very sad and unfortunate news: The 2019 Miami Dolphins are a hideous football team with which you should not, under any circumstances, make eye contact. Close your eyes and imagine the worst Dolphins team ever. Now imagine that team left town and the backups are now the starters.

Don't take New Times' word for it, though. Listen to Las Vegas — it knows all. According to Sports Betting Dime, the 0-5 Dolphins' odds of making the playoffs are a WTF-inducing 50,000 to 1. So right now, if you put $100 on the Dolphins to make the playoffs (not even the Super Bowl), you could take home $5 million. No big deal.

To put that number in perspective, the 0-6 Cincinnati Bengals have 1,500 to 1 odds of making the postseason. They're not even in the same universe as the Dolphins.

Sports Betting Dime goes even further in explaining just how bad the Dolphins are this season by pointing out Miami's point differential is sitting at -138 after five games, putting the team on pace for -441. To give some historical context, the worst point differential in NFL history was -287 by the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers.


Those odds come after four of the first five Dolphins games were played at home. One can safely assume it will only get worse from here. Hold onto your butts, Miami Dolphins fans, because we're in for one helluva #TankForTua ride the rest of the way. In the meantime, if you're feeling lucky and want to look like a great fan, throw $10 on the Dolphins to shock the universe and somehow win the AFC wildcard. You'll have plenty to spend on playoff tickets.

Or you could save your $10 and spend it on literally anything else. Buy some dog food even if you don't have a dog. It would be a better investment.

The Dolphins will get a chance to prove Vegas and everyone else wrong Sunday when they face the Buffalo Bills. Vegas has the Dolphins as a -17-point underdog. No one believes in the team in the short term — or even the long term. We can't say we blame them. 
KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi