Sports

The Cocky Heat Fan's Guide to Why the Miami Heat Will Repeat as NBA Champions

The NBA season kicks off tonight when the Miami Heat hosts the Boston Celtics. But before that, the Heat players will be receiving their championship rings and unveiling their 2011-12 NBA Finals Champions big-ass banner that will hang in the rafters at the American Airlines Arena like a giant pair of testicles tea-bagging all of America.

And here's the better news: What's to stop the Heat from doing it again this year? Aside from a major injury to one of the Big Three, the answer is NOTHING. More to the point, the answer is NOTHING, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Because the Heat is the best basketball team on the planet. And while there are many reasons why they'll repeat this year, we want you to be ready to answer the haterz when they ask for specifics.

So here's the Top Seven reasons why the Heat will repeat.

Why seven? Because NOT ONE, NOT TWO, NOT THREE, NOT FOUR, NOT FIVE...

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph