Dolphins Win, Jordan Cameron and Andrew Frank Stink, Ryan Tannehill and Arian Foster Okay | New Times Broward-Palm Beach


The Dolphins Win Their Third Preseason Game: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Miami Dolphins won their third preseason dress rehearsal game last night against the Atlanta Falcons, 17-6. Super Bowl? Obviously. While the score is by far the most important thing to come out of the wondrous scrimmage, there were many events that occurred within those 60 minutes that are worth mentioning. 

Good, bad, and ugly occurrences took place; let's take a look at all three, completely overreact to them, and then make some sweeping judgments. 

The Good

— Arian Foster looks just fine. He scored in the first half from inside the five and caught numerous balls out of the backfield that saved quarterback Ryan Tannehill from impending sacks. The Dolphins are really relying heavily on Foster, whom they basically got from the Houston Texans for Lamar Miller and a bag full of salary cap cash. It's clear Foster is this team's starting running back and probably the NFL's comeback player of the year. 

— Tannehill looks more-or-less capable of leading the sort of offense Adam Gase likes to run. Outside of an early first quarter interception that was tipped at the line, Tannehill had a solid game, finishing the first half 20-29 for 155 yards. He looked comfortable making the sort of throws he'll need to make in an offense that won't be asking him to toss it deep often. Tannehill looks well on his way to a probowl season. Probably. 

— The Dolphins' run defense was on point in the first half. In the first 30 minutes, a unit resembling what the team will roll with the first week held the Falcons to just ten yards on seven carries. If this performance is any indication, the Dolphins will have one of the greatest defensive lines in NFL history. 

— Wide receiver Kenny Stills looks like he's going to be a huge factor in the Dolphins' new offense. He built on a solid preseason with four first-half catches for 46 yards. He also looked like the coolest hipster doing so. Stills will win you a fantasy league — go scoop him up. 

— Rashad Jones had an end-zone interception and was generally a menace in the secondary for the entire first half. It felt like there were six of him. There might need to be six of him if the Dolphins plan on stopping any pass attacks this season. The Dolphins need to lock up Jones before he costs them double what he was asking for this offseason. 

The Bad

— Jordan Cameron should not be a thing that lines up for the Miami Dolphins each week. Besides looking slow and uncoordinated, his hands are definitely made of postconsumer recycled ass. Jordan Cameron needs to go. I will pay him money from my wallet to leave. 

— The Dolphins' offensive line seems to have pass blocking down, but the run blocking has been terrifying thus far. The Dolphins started four natural left tackles and a guy who has played as many games at center in the NFL as Simone Biles on their offensive line last night. The Dolphins should give up running the ball like you do in Madden when you're drunk. 

— Jay Ajayi continues to look worse than fourth- and fifth-string running backs. He was the Dolphins' starting tailback in April and May, which is great for the team because there were no games then. For some reason, people wanted to hand him the job this season based on four seconds in the NFL. He's yet to prove he is anything other than a capable backup at best. He'll be lucky to be the team's third back this year. The Dolphins should sign a back someone cuts. 

—Daniel Thomas is still a Miami Dolphin, proving he is their herpes. Every time you think he's gone, Thomas flares up again and appears in the fourth quarter of a preseason game wearing a new number. 

The Ugly 

— The Dolphins' cornerbacks are not only the worst unit on the team but possibly in the entire NFL. Not one of them makes you feel comfortable. The Dolphins' lead corner, Byron Maxwell, has been constantly burned this preseason. Xavien Howard — the Dolphins' second-round pick in this year's draft — has yet to see the field. Tony Lippett is an ex-wide receiver, and it shows. There are multiple guys named McCain running around committing penalties. It's a mess. Any team worth the grass they play on will slice and dice the Dolphins' secondary up all season long. This will doom the Dolphins. 

— Andrew Franks missed a 37-yard field goal that I'm pretty sure he kicked with only his middle finger. It looked like it was blocked, but it was more likely the equivalent of a kick that came off a child's foot. It's clear Franks forgot how to boot the ball at this moment — which is semi-important considering his job title. 
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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi

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