Thank goodness for Barbara Hijek -- a woman whose job is to keep us all abreast of "weird, wacky, strange news from the Sunshine State." Sometimes she tries to make light of things that are unmakelightofable, but sometimes she finds a little gem of a story without which, you realize moments after reading it, your life would be just a little less awesome.
This is one of those stories. Lookit that guy on the left! Lookitum! Have you ever seen a happier mug?
Why's he grinning? Because he's just done something hilarious. On the occasion of his 64th birthday, according to Hijek, this guy -- his name's Jack Snyder -- sauntered on over to San Miguel Drive and Chantilly Lane in Port Richie. He depantsed himself and waggled his weenus at a bus full of schoolchildren.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
According to Erin Sullivan of the St. Petersburg Times, who broke the story (if this is the kind of story that can be said to have "broken," which seems debatable), Jack Snyder didn't run away from the scene. He was still kicking around when the cops responded to a grandma's complaints. He explained to the arresting officer that he thought his flashing would be "funny." Which it was! Which is why Hijek wrote about it!
Except -- you know what's not funny? Jack Snyder's homeless. And he only recently got out of jail for assorted petty crimes. And he's almost certainly deranged. And we're laughing at him anyway. Now he's back in jail, being held on a $50,000 bond, and he'll probably get out eventually. And then he'll probably misbehave again, and maybe he'll do so in some witty and creative way -- flashing! -- that makes us giggle. Then he'll end up back in the slammer. And so on. Haha?