The License Plate Gambit | Tailpipe | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida

The License Plate Gambit

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Langer explains that he was on an important business call when Lyons scolded his kids, who had come from summer day camp. "All I knew is I had a situation on my hands," he says. He hopes the ice cream parlor will feel the heat: "I have enough people I can tell that I can influence his business directly," Langer says. "Within a block of my house, I have 30 parents I know well."

This troubles Lyons. "I don't hate kids!" he says. "I don't want them to be silent, just well-behaved." Lyons opines that Mrs. Langer would have been none-too-pleased had she seen her husband's lack of supervision over his daughters that day. "If I'd acted like that in a restaurant when I was a kid," Lyons adds, "my mom would have had my ass."

Someone, Tailpipe thinks, needs to learn to use his indoor voice. Or Lyons can invest in one of those signs that reads "Fair Warning: Unattended Children Will Be Given an Espresso and Black Coffee."

— As told to Edmund Newton

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