5. The Immature Cyber Geek In high school, he was the kid whose name you never learned, but whenever you needed an extra sheet of loose-leaf, he was there for you. Those four years of adolescent tomfoolery, held always at his expense, changed him. Sure, he didn't wind up with a scholarship to an Ivy, an incredibly successful career as a plastic surgeon, and an emerald green Bugatti like every romantic comedy would lead you to believe, but that isn't going to stop him from acting like he should have. Granted, he's still in community college, playing too much World of Warcraft, and bussing tables at Chuck E. Cheese, but you'll catch the Star Trek allusion in his username and go along messaging him hoping he might actually pick you up in that emerald green Bugatti one day. He'll stop talking to once he figures out you don't actually know C++.
4. The Guy You Recognize You met him once when you were out, but it was dark, loud, and you were really drunk. You can't remember his name, and he surely doesn't remember you. At all. But when you came across his profile, he seemed vaguely familiar. He clicked your profile, you clicked back, and then you were in a vicious cycle of click-tag -- but he never made the first-move message because he couldn't fight the eerie feeling that you were a spiteful one-night stand whose name he couldn't remember, or his second cousin once removed. You guys traverse the same local barscape and after enough Taco Tuesdays, you'll start to recognize each other and he'll break the awkward silence with a simple "hi." You'll roll your eyes and go back home to re-read your messages with Cyber Geek.