Does anyone still remember 2007, when we were all spending like a bunch of drunken Scott Rothsteins? Turns out the world's biggest ship, Port Everglades-based Oasis of the Seas, is also the world's biggest floating time capsule. Construction started long before the Lehman Brothers meltdown, during an age when Bernard Madoff was still a financial wizard and you could get a big loan with hardly any collateral. In this climate, someone thought: "Why, of course we're going to have an ice-skating rink on a ship that cruises the Caribbean!"
That's what you're missing land-lovers, now that the big girl has left the port.
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SHOW ME HOW
For an encore, the skaters pay off each audience member's mortgage.