4

Tim Hardaway: Hey, I'm Gay Too!

Any Questions?

Tim Hardaway, who said "I hate gay people" on Dan Le Batard's radio show yesterday, has since not only issued an apology but a just-issued confession in the form of a press release that has been obtained by the Pulp:

"I need to say that my statements yesterday, which have caused such a furor in the media, were prompted by deep-seated tension rooted in a secret I have been carrying for many, many years. To put it bluntly, I love penises (or penii, as I like to say). Big ones, little ones, fat ones, skinny ones, you know, a veritable potpourri of penii.

"Having been in locker rooms filled with men all my life, I've had to painfully suppress the sheer joy I feel when I'm in a roomful of

dancing dongs. This has prompted me to internalize my emotions and smother them. A combustible brand of bitterness has ensued, which led directly to yesterday's hateful, unforgivable statements on the radio.

"But I am happy to announce that I have decided to embrace my true feelings and accept that I am a gay man. To prove this, I have character witnesses, now available to the media, who will testify that my favorite TV show is "Dancing With The Stars," that privately I am known to wear skintight t-shirts tucked into belted and pressed blue jeans, and that I love anything and everything produced by Alan Ball. If you have any further questions, please contact my new publicist, Tim Gunn."

I have to admit that, after reading the release, I'm a bit skeptical. For one, it doesn't really sound like Tim Hardaway's voice. More like it was written by some fancy press agent. I mean, c'mon, "a veritable potpourri of penii"? That's obviously a professional line that could only be summoned by a true master of the English language. For another, the whole thing seems like a desperate attempt by his handlers to save face -- because it's obvious that coming out as gay is about the only way Hardaway, after yesterday, will ever enjoy any public sympathy or respect.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send: