Come April 25, you will be able to carry a small knife onto a plane. Also, sporting equipment, such as a pool cue, and golf clubs and hockey sticks.
That's because the TSA has announced that these items are no longer prohibited on board airplanes since they were banned after the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
For their part, flight attendants are not happy about the decision. Not so much because it's a safety issue, but more because storing long golf cubs and pool cues in the overhead bins is going to be a major pain in the ass.
"While we agree that a passenger wielding a small knife or swinging a golf club or hockey stick poses less of a threat to the pilot locked in the cockpit, these are real threats to passengers and flight attendants in the passenger cabin," said Stacy K. Martin, president of Southwest Airlines' flight attendants union, TWU Local 556.
The TSA response is that allowing these once-prohibited items will now cut wait time down at security gates because apparently there's a huge number of people that try to bring hockey sticks onto airplanes and it's just a damn nuisance.
"This change allows TSA to focus on the threats that can cause catastrophic damage to an aircraft," the TSA said in a statement.
Taking off your shoes and having your 101-year-old great-grandmother forced out of her wheelchair and physically patted down by TSA agents, and x-ray machines that show agents your boobs and balls -- THAT is still totally necessary.
So now knives less than 2.36 inches or 6 centimeters long and sporting goods such as including ski poles and lacrosse sticks are allowed on the plane and pose no threat, unless a James Bond villain boards.
Other than that, everything remains the same. Now take off your shoes and throw them into the box with your house keys and laptop, dammit. DON'T KNOW KNOW THOSE THINGS ARE DEADLY?