Closing in on 80,000 followers, @_FloridaMan has been doing God's work over there on Twitter. Since the account went live a few month's back, it's become the world's one-stop shop for all your weird headlines featuring Sunshine state debauchery.
But let's be real, it's lonely out there on the internet plains, especially if you're a one-man online evangelist spreading the word about low-brow human fuckups and moral decay. How many trailer break-ins or naked cocaine rampages or wheelchair shootings can you really enjoy alone until the longing for another blackens the spirit? Can KY Jelly thievery really be appreciated without company? If one laughs alone about an industrial castration accident, is one really laughing at all?
Luckily, FloridaMan seems to have found a soulmate: @_Flor1daWoman.
The account went active March 15. The attraction was there from the start: FloridaMan and Flor1daWoman shared their first retweet that same day, a classy number titled "Florida Woman Calls 911, Asks for Police to Come and 'Scare the Shit' Out of Her Kids."
Since then, @_FloridaMan has been paying steady attention to the new ingenue. The flirtation has no doubt helped @_Flor1daWoman rack up more than 5,000 followers and counting in the past few days. In fact, in the time it took to write this post, the new account shot up a couple of hundred followers.
And although we're happy for the couple, we do have to ask whether this is a good thing for us common folks on the ground level. Is it possible to OD on Florida insanity? Literature offers some compass points on the issue.
And we all know how that ended.
Not to mention:
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