"Very Experienced" Captain Trashes Rental Boat, Leaves Yacht Club with Bill, Lawsuit Claims

​You know what's awesome about boating? 

Exactly the same thing that's awesome about driving: You can totally mess shit up behind the wheel of a big, powerful machine, which is what this great nation is really all about

Thing is, if you're going to be a total badass -- wearers of Affliction and TapouT T-shirts, heartbreaking panty droppers that you are -- you should probably do so in your own vehicle, not a rental. 

Unfortunately for Carefree Boat Club of Fort Lauderdale, a local man might not have had this important bit of common sense.

Carefree claims that Noah Simon rented a boat for four hours on July 26. 

He told Carefree's employees that "he was very experienced" with boats, according to Broward County Civil Court documents. He also used a coupon for the rental. 

Before Simon's time was even up, the boat was so wrecked that it had to be towed to shore, Carfree claims in a recently filed lawsuit. 

It's unclear how much the boat was worth, but four-stroke Yamaha outboards -- like the one Simon is said to have rented -- can cost around $20,000. 

The Pulp contacted Simon and is waiting for his comment. 

(We especially want to know whether Simon still enjoys The Lonely Island.) 

Follow The Pulp on Facebook and on Twitter: @ThePulpBPB.

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Victoria Bekiempis