Bill Parcells, the Dolphins' executive vice president of football operations, is "not worth a shit." At least that's what his former boss, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, was caught slurring on a shaky phone camera in video originally posted by Deadspin.
The conversation starts when an unidentified man asks Jones -- seated at a bar with the top of his shirt unbuttoned -- about Florida's Patron Saint of Life, Tim Tebow.
The man asks Jones if he would draft Tebow just to sell tickets.
"That's the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells," Jones says to an audience of laughter.
"Bill's not worth a shit. I love him," Jones continues. "Not worth a shit, but I wanted -- they were on my ass so bad. J's gotta have a yes man. So to get this fuckin' stadium, I need to bring his ass in."
Of course, in his time in Dallas, Parcells completely turned around the franchise and made the playoffs for the first time in nearly a decade. He also found Tony Romo, an undrafted rookie who has been the starting quarterback in Dallas for five seasons.
Oh, and once he came to Florida, Parcells also took the 1-15 Dolphins to the playoffs in one year, the single best turnaround in league history. Impressive. Or as Jerry Jones would say, "not worth a shit."