Humor

Vitaly Zdorovetskiy, "Miami Zombie"/"Russian Hitman," Conquers South Florida YouTube

On a sunny afternoon, a rotund, tall man named Andre Brown had just stepped out of his Boca Raton apartment when a bronze-haired stranger approached him wearing a black suit, leather gloves, and an expression stitched with alarm. "Are you who I'm supposed to talk to?" the man asked in a heavy Russian accent, as he set down a briefcase and backed away. "You have 60 seconds!" the Russian yelled. "You have 60 seconds!"

It's a bomb! Brown thought, looking at the case at his feet.

"We gotta run!" the apparent Russian hit man shouted, taking cover beside a clay-colored building. Confused and terrified, Brown sprinted after him. But then, just as they were about to take off running again, the hit man pointed at a cameraman standing across the street and laughed. "You're on camera!"

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Terrence McCoy