Wanted: Someone to Punch Octomom in the Face Repeatedly | The Daily Pulp | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida

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Wanted: Someone to Punch Octomom in the Face Repeatedly

Nadya Suleman, better-known as "Octomom," won't show off her nasty naughty bits for money, but she is willing to be repeatedly punched in the face for some cash -- and they're looking for someone to do it.

According to our compadres to the south, Miami New Times, the Celebrity Boxing Federation has scheduled a match for Suleman in Fort Lauderdale on August 20, and they're accepting applications for people to be her opponent.

We thought Ivan Drago would be a good match for the Octomom, but apparently he isn't real.


Casey Anthony will be out of jail by then, which would make a shitty-mother matchup for the ages.

If not, it wouldn't hurt to get a little professionalism into the event by having Laila Ali or Lucia Rijker in the ring.

We like Mike Tyson for this fight too, if he can make some cuts to get down to Octomom's weight class.

According to our amigos in Miami, send an email to [email protected] for your chance to wail on Octomom.

We're not sure if it's an official rule, but according to an email sent to Miami New Times, dudes need not apply: "We are looking for any woman who would like the chance in the spotlight and take Octomom on in a Novelty Fun Boxing," fight representatives wrote.

If you just plan on going to watch Octomom get punched, consider picking up this Octomom T-shirt produced by the death-grind band Cattle Decapitation to show your support.

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Matthew Hendley
Contact: Matthew Hendley