Chill, West Palm Beach. Take it easy. You too, Fort Lauderdale.
Because, according to a new study, you guys are totally stressed out.
The research firm, Sperling's Best Places, recently ranked the most-stressed-out cities and, four cities in Florida are atop the list.
West Palm Beach, the study says, is the tenth most-stressed-out city in America (Fort Lauderdale comes in at 11, just missing out the Top 10)
Sperlings bases its study on a variety of factors:
- Unemployment rate (BINGO) - Suicide rate (BUMMER) - Commute time (OH FUCK YEAH) - Mental health (THAT'LL DO IT) - Poor rest (WE COULD ALL USE SOMZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ) - Alcohol use (BOOZE!) - Violent crime rate (GAH!) - Property crime rate (GAHH!) - Cloudy days annually (GA... WAIT. SERIOUSLY?)
The only other Florida cities above West Palm and Fort Lauderdale were Miami at 3, Jacksonville 4, and Orlando at 6. Tampa-St. Petersburg came in at number 1.
"Frankly, I was shocked by the concentration of Florida cities clustered in the top ten," said lead researcher Bert Sperling. "But when we look into the statistics, we can see some of the reasons."
The study also factored in weather, basically saying that living in a sunny place makes you want to walk in front of a Tri-Rail.
"We've done some analysis to test the validity of the popular notion that cloudy days contribute to depression, stress, or suicide," Sperling said. "Perhaps to a small extent, but we've found that the suicide rate is more closely associated with sunnier places. That's a subject for another study."
Incidentally, Minneapolis came in as the least stressed city. So, apparently, you're better off living in a place where it's sub-arctic weather all year round over a place where the beach, babes, drinks, and palm trees are ten minutes from your house.
So there you have it. Our jobs situation is terrible, divorce is high, we drink too much, and living in paradise makes us want to kill ourselves.
And to make matters worse, West Palm and Fort Lauderdale come in tenth and 11th. WE CAN'T EVEN BE THE BEST AT BEING THE WORST!